Bir Zeynep
30.07.2006, 16:59
Euro English
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that the English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year-phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro English".
In the first year, "S" will replace the soft "C". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servents jump with joy.
The hard "C" will be dropped in favour of "K". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "PH" will be replased with "F". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptans of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will encourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, I wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "E" in the language is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the forth yer, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "TH" with "Z" and "W" with "V".
During ze fifz yer, ze uneseray "O" kan be droped from vords kontaining "OU" and after ze fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil b no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil faind it ezi tu anderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a yunaited urop vil fainali kum tru.
Und after ze fifz yer, ve vil b spiking German laik zey vunted in ze forst plais.
If ziz mad yu smail, zen yu mast b as dfft as ze riter. If yu did not smail, zen tir it ap.
Gutbai.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that the English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year-phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro English".
In the first year, "S" will replace the soft "C". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servents jump with joy.
The hard "C" will be dropped in favour of "K". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "PH" will be replased with "F". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptans of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will encourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, I wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "E" in the language is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the forth yer, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "TH" with "Z" and "W" with "V".
During ze fifz yer, ze uneseray "O" kan be droped from vords kontaining "OU" and after ze fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil b no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil faind it ezi tu anderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a yunaited urop vil fainali kum tru.
Und after ze fifz yer, ve vil b spiking German laik zey vunted in ze forst plais.
If ziz mad yu smail, zen yu mast b as dfft as ze riter. If yu did not smail, zen tir it ap.
Gutbai.