I am in a wonderful relationship with an Alevi girl. I love her and she loves me. Everything is reciprocated and I don't feel like I need to put on a show for her. In other words, this is the greatest thing I've ever found. The best part is that I share everything with her and we are so alike.

Now, I was raised in a Christian background. This taught me to be spiritual, but I've always managed to coast when determining what my beliefs truly are. In fact, I've never even read the bible all the way through. Now, I understand that the parents are going to have a hard time with her being with me, but I wanted to know if it was possible to convert. I'm still learning about Alevism, but I see its universal platforms as being the type of ideology I've lived around. Actually it's more of the type I WANT to live around. So what if I feel like I've always been an Alevi despite not being born into it? Is it possible to convert? Would that even help my relationship with the family?

I plan to spend years learning Turkish with a tutor before actually standing face to face with the parents. If I learn Turkish, will it help me signficantly? I feel actually being able to communicate in their tongue would at least improve my position somewhat.

Let me know. She is becoming one of my life quests. I'll need help.

As the first,it will be very radical decision for you to choose Alevism but it is not impossible.

If you have the real love and trust to each other,the happiness will be with you for sure!

Don't worry about it! and I wish you happiness!

If you love her religious isn't important but I appreciate your love and learning about Alevism If you believe that you will success whatever Alevism requires and also even if you can't speak Turkish your girlfriend's parent won't you judge because of that you must prove yourself to them leading a happy life with her and respecting to them not religious or language.I hope you'll be happy with her:D

Okay so I'll be completely honest since you guys have been so punctual with your responses. She came to my college for a year. I was with her for the second semester. She is an Alevi living in Europe although both parents immigrated from Turkey. She is going to try to come back in 1 year under a new program after she finishes college in Europe. A year without her is hard enough. I actually go home to Europe in the summer and Christmas (I call it home Amercian Military base) and I live about 4 hours from her house. Nevertheless, with her parents, she feels it is best if we keep it secret since they would not support her leaving the country for someone she knew 4 months. So I am motivated to learn Turkish for that one day when I DO get to meet them. Because now....they will hopefully not know I exist. I just wanted to know your opinions on this. I do not think the parents are completely unreasonable. Also, does anyone have experience with a long distance relationship like this?

I am in a wonderful relationship with an Alevi girl. I love her and she loves me. Everything is reciprocated and I don't feel like I need to put on a show for her. In other words, this is the greatest thing I've ever found. The best part is that I share everything with her and we are so alike.

Now, I was raised in a Christian background. This taught me to be spiritual, but I've always managed to coast when determining what my beliefs truly are. In fact, I've never even read the bible all the way through. Now, I understand that the parents are going to have a hard time with her being with me, but I wanted to know if it was possible to convert. I'm still learning about Alevism, but I see its universal platforms as being the type of ideology I've lived around. Actually it's more of the type I WANT to live around. So what if I feel like I've always been an Alevi despite not being born into it? Is it possible to convert? Would that even help my relationship with the family?

I plan to spend years learning Turkish with a tutor before actually standing face to face with the parents. If I learn Turkish, will it help me signficantly? I feel actually being able to communicate in their tongue would at least improve my position somewhat.

Let me know. She is becoming one of my life quests. I'll need help.




Dear Mr. Has-no-Name! :laugh:

I am in a wonderful relationship with an Alevi girl.

If she would be truely believing she would know that a relationship is forbidden, it is allowed to get friends and come closer, but if you want to be in a relationship with her, you have to promise her parents to marry her (the so called NISAN --- means ring-ceremony).

I love her and she loves me. Everything is reciprocated and I don't feel like I need to put on a show for her. In other words, this is the greatest thing I've ever found. he best part is that I share everything with her and we are so alike.

Then everything is okey, this should be always so.

Now, I was raised in a Christian background.

You mean "Christian".

This taught me to be spiritual,

Noone tells you in Alevism (the so called WAY) to be spiritual, this way is based on truths, anyone who can't accept the truths can't accept this way.

but I've always managed to coast when determining what my beliefs truly are.

Good.

In fact, I've never even read the bible all the way through.

Bad. Someone who doesn't read his own religion, won't be able to learn anyone others way.

Now, I understand that the parents are going to have a hard time with her being with me, but I wanted to know if it was possible to convert.

Convertion is possible in "turkic" Alevism, but it isn't possible in "kurdish" Alevism. Anyway for your case: Yes, it is possible.

I'm still learning about Alevism, but I see its universal platforms as being the type of ideology I've lived around.

What you want to say is following: It is so old, 1400 years or more, but it is as modern as todays thinking and behaviour.

Actually it's more of the type I WANT to live around.

Yes, I call it the Alevi effect. :wink:

So what if I feel like I've always been an Alevi despite not being born into it?

It is said, that not every human being had the chance to hear or see Muhammed or Ali, not every human being had the chance to follow their way, the right way, because there have always been obstacles (for example: the language).

Is it possible to convert?

Yes.

Would that even help my relationship with the family?

That's based on the family. We can't give you answers on private family problems.

I plan to spend years learning Turkish with a tutor before actually standing face to face with the parents.

First of all, make sure, that they are ethnically Turks, it could be possible, that you have to learn Zazaki (Kirmancki) or Kurdish? Even thought of that?

If I learn Turkish, will it help me signficantly?

Maybe you would sound funny and they would lough and so you would be accepted, but honestly I am sure that the family will accept this act positively.

I feel actually being able to communicate in their tongue would at least improve my position somewhat.

Parden, I couldn't understand this part.

Let me know. She is becoming one of my life quests. I'll need help.

We will be there guy. You are always welcome Mr. Has-no-Name.

Yours, Sah-Hatayi.


PS: Read some poems of Sah Hatayi (Sah Hatai, Sah Ismail Hatayi).

It's Mr.-no-name again.

One thing I want to comment on is what the poster SahHatayi said. You mentioned that if I do not learn my own religion that it would be impossible for me to learn any other. Well I want to be clear on this.


I've ALWAYS coasted. I've read and memorized verses of the bible. I've been a leader in my church community. But I based more of my convictions around helping and loving others than fully committing to Christ being divine. Yes, it's bad not to live with conviction on one of the most important aspects of life. I know that. Nevertheless, this person has driven me to FIND the answers to these questions. It's a sad thing that I never had to decide completely on a religion. It's scary that I was walking around asking questions yet never coming to definite conclusions. Well, I will tell you that this summer I will read both the Bible and the Qur'an. I have already spoken with Islamic Association at my college. I am asking questions and getting answers.

I really think that when a person is with someone wonderful, they will improve you. I am a better person now (because of her) because I am now DRIVEN to learn and find out and at least be educated on these 2 religions. I realize that a lot of people in America do not have a clue other than stereotypes (that are generated by American culture).

So, I may not have a mastery of the religion I was raised under. But I will KNOW what I want to know. I have never been more driven to learn about something as I am now.

Thanks for the help. The questions will continue when I begin actually learning things. And Turkish is definitely the language I must learn.

i came to the door of the forties
i saw the buildage of real heaven
i prayed on the right way to god
i promise oh allah by god by god

from ever to never it is just allah
i can't leave this way forgive me allah
in me it is manifested i promise oh allah
my faith holds for ever i swear by allah

i drank the drink from my master's hand
i learned the teachings and the way
it is safe in the heart of trustful believers
my faith holds for ever i swear by allah

i am Davut Sulari ..........
my teacher is Mahmud Hayrani
my master is Veysel Karani
my faith holds for ever i swear by allah

I am in a wonderful relationship with an Alevi girl. I love her and she loves me. Everything is reciprocated and I don't feel like I need to put on a show for her. In other words, this is the greatest thing I've ever found. The best part is that I share everything with her and we are so alike.

Now, I was raised in a Christian background. This taught me to be spiritual, but I've always managed to coast when determining what my beliefs truly are. In fact, I've never even read the bible all the way through. Now, I understand that the parents are going to have a hard time with her being with me, but I wanted to know if it was possible to convert. I'm still learning about Alevism, but I see its universal platforms as being the type of ideology I've lived around. Actually it's more of the type I WANT to live around. So what if I feel like I've always been an Alevi despite not being born into it? Is it possible to convert? Would that even help my relationship with the family?

I plan to spend years learning Turkish with a tutor before actually standing face to face with the parents. If I learn Turkish, will it help me signficantly? I feel actually being able to communicate in their tongue would at least improve my position somewhat.

Let me know. She is becoming one of my life quests. I'll need help.

Alevisim is a religion as well as it is a philosophy of life.So i think you are lucky becasue of you are being an alevi.There is a statistics in Turkey.It says that in Turkey many people who get married with other countries folks,are alevies.